Lost
by RaNma11
Summary: Mikan and Natsume. Two people forever lost in love and the atrocities of life. My first one shot.


Hi guys, this is my first ever one shot, so bear with me.

Current Mood: Pissed with emotional headache (like that's even possible)

This fic is dedicated to Milkyway17

I got inspired by the song so I made this…

I advise you to watch it from youtube just enter the song and artist.

Song: Kiss- Because I'm a girl by J-entercom

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_**Lost**_

_**by Ranma 11**_

**v.v.v.v.v.v.v.v.v.v.v.v.v.v.v.v.v.v.v.v.v.v.v.v.v.v.v.v.v.v.v.v.v.v.v.v.v.v.v.v.v.v.v.v.v.v.v.v**

"Natsume…" I called out to him, tears brimming in my eyes. He was walking away, from me, from my life, never to come back.

"I told you, not to follow me." He answered, his voice as cold and sharp as ice tearing through me.

_I just can't understand the ways  
Of all the men and their mistakes,  
You give them all your heart  
And then they rip it all away...  
_

"But why?" I could not understand him… The tears flowed out. I couldn't contain them anymore.

_  
You told me how much you loved me,  
And how our love was meant to be.  
And I believed in you,  
I thought that you would set me free... _

He turned to me, with those cold, emotionless crimson eyes of his.

"I don't have to explain anything to you. Figure it out, you idiot." With that, he turned and left.

_  
Chorus  
You should've just told me the truth,  
That I wasn't the girl for you...  
Still I didn't have a clue,  
My heart depended on You... Whoah  
Although I'll say I hate you now,  
Though I'll shout and curse you out...  
I'll always have love for you,   
Because I am a girl.  
_

That night, I cried myself to sleep. I tried to forget him, but the memories of a happy yesterday only brought painful reminisce to me.

_  
Been told a man will leave you cold,  
Get sick of you and bored...  
I know that it's no lie,  
I gave my all still I just cry.  
Never again will I be fooled,  
To give my all when nothing's true...  
I won't be played again,  
But I will fall in love again... _

"Mikan." Ruka called to me, snapping me out of what seemed to be a trance.

I forced a smile, but it never reached my eyes. I know he saw the sadness that enveloped those bright brown orbs into an abyss of darkness.

"You'll understand him. One day Mikan, you will." He told me with knowing eyes.__

Chorus  
You should've just told me the truth,   
That I wasn't the girl for you...  
Still I didn't have a clue,  
My heart depended on You... Whoah  
Although I'll say I hate you now,  
Though I'll shout and curse you out...  
I'll always have love for you,  
Because I am a girl. 

"I can't, Ruka. Not until you tell me why! Why won't anyone explain to me! It's as if you all know, all except for me!" I closed my fists and banged on his chest. "Why!!!"__

I loved you so...  
Now you leave me in the cold  
How could this be?  
I thought that you'd only love me...  
Into the night;  
I will pray that you're all right.  
You hurt me so,  
I just can't let you go --- 

Ruka just stood there, and let me vent it all out on him. I suddenly felt weak, my limbs lost all the strength they previously had, and I felt myself collapse on Ruka's arms.__

You took advantage of my willingness  
To do anything for love.  
Now I'm the only one in pain...  
Will you please take it all away‚ Oh  
Never thought born being a girl,  
How I can love you and be burned...  
And now I will build a wall,  
To never get torn again. 

Days have passed quickly, although to me, they seemed like eternity.

Ever since that day, I've changed. Everything about me totally different from what I was before. No one ever saw me smile, that sincere smile as bright as the sun, lost in an endless heap of rain clouds.

I became cold as ice. As cold as his crimson orbs, like his frozen fire.

_  
Although I'll say I hate you now,  
Though I'll shout and curse you out...   
I'll always have love for you,  
Because I am a girl._

Still, I waited for him. I believed his return. 'He would come back,' I said to myself, over and over again. I would always look out my window and stare at the Sakura tree, OUR sakura tree. Hoping that one day, he would be there, sitting, with that genuine smile he offered to me, and me only.

Yet, nothing.__

Although I'll say I hate you now,  
Though I'll shout and curse you out...   
I'll always have love for you,  
Because I am a girl.

"Mikan…" Hotaru stood in my hospital room.

I didn't even bother to turn my head, but she knew I was listening.

"Stop waiting. Stop wasting your life. Move on."

I turned to her, surprised by the gloomy tone of her voice and even more taken aback by the sulky emotion written in her face.

"It's time you know Mikan..." She lowered her head, hiding her lavender orbs behind her raven hair. "He's not coming back. He never will."

"Wha-what are you saying?" My voice shook, showing the intensity of my emotions.

She moved closer, and held my pale hands in hers. Hotaru looked straight into my eyes with much intensity, as if saying I need to be strong.

I held my breathe, the tension is killing me.

"He's dead, Mikan." Her voice was hoarse, as if her own heart was breaking as she told me the horrifying news.

"No… Th-that ca-can't be true! NO!!!" My body quivered, as I panicked and struggled out of the bed.

Hotaru tried to hold me back, but was having difficulty. With all her might, she hugged me tight, and caged me in her embrace.

"**LET ME GO! I WILL LOOK FOR HIM! HE'S NOT DEAD! NO!!! LET ME GO!!!"** I struggled, much to her chagrin.

"MIKAN!!!" Ruka came in and panicked when he saw me gone amok. He tried to help Hotaru in calming me down.

"He promised me! He said he will never leave!"

"He never left you Mikan. He always loved you, and always will."

But he did! He left me. He hated me, and left me good as dead. He… He…" My voice trailed off. I could not register anything anymore. The last thing I heard was Ruka's voice.

"He loved you, Mikan. He loved you so much that he died protecting you."

"Natsume…"

_Although I'll say I hate you now,  
Though I'll shout and curse you out...  
I'll always have love for you,  
Because I am a girl._


End file.
